5 tips for surviving separation this festive season

Posted: Thursday December 2 2021

By: Guest Blogger

A common worry for separated parents is that Christmas after a break-up will no longer be perfect. Try to reset your expectations of Christmas.

5 tips for surviving separation this festive season

By Banner Jones

A common worry for separated parents is that Christmas after a break-up will no longer be perfect.
Try to reset your expectations of Christmas. It will be different, but you can still make it magical for the children. You can still carry on with your Christmas traditions, or if they are no longer possible, then you can create new ones that you can hopefully all enjoy for years to come

Consider family mediation

Family mediation helps couples who are in the process of separating or divorcing to decide what to do about the house, the children, the assets, the debts, and can help everyone in the family to establish new working relationships.

What if it doesn’t work?

If an agreement can’t be reached through mediation then a solicitor can help you to apply to the courts to decide what’s best for your children. You don’t want the childrens’ lasting memory of Christmas to be a day of disagreements.

Plan ahead

Although you may not wish to speak to with your ex-partner, it is essential to keep the gates of communication open. Remember, you’re doing this for your children. With careful planning and communication, you can avoid disappointment and any upsetting drama on Christmas Day.

What should I do?

Discuss in detail, who buys what for the children at Christmas, and where they’re going to spend time on Christmas Day. If you talk about it well in advance, even as early as the year before, it can help you to reach a compromise and discuss it more calmly.

Be flexible

You may not like the thought of being without your children on Christmas Day, but don’t forget, being flexible may buy you some good will for other occasions throughout the year such as the summer holidays and birthdays.

What should I do?

It is a good idea to work out a rota for when each parent will see the child(ren) and when. This will need to include some compromise and sharing of special days. Whatever you decide, you can always find ways to make it fair and give each parent special time with the children.

Make plans for yourself

If you won’t be with your children on Christmas Christmas day, make other plans well in advance. That way, you have something to look forward to and distract you from feeling too upset. Remember, Christmas is a time for you too.

What should I do?

Reach out to the people that matter to you to and make plans for yourself over the Christmas period. Visit your family, or perhaps invite over another single parent who is in the same boat. Christmas might not be the same but it can still be a happy time for everyone.

Put children first

The main thing to remember is that Christmas should be about your children and forming safe, loving environments for them. As the festive period is generally considered to be a time for family, it is perfectly understandable for both parents to want to see the child(ren) on Christmas Day, but this may not be practical.

What should I do?

Don’t ask the child to choose between you and your partner. This puts them in the middle and creates too much pressure and tension. Get ideas from the child(ren) about things they’d like to do, traditions they’d like to start. Focus on arranging a few things you will all enjoy.

Contact Banner Jones Family Law Team for expert advice.

Read more here from Banner Jones https://www.bannerjones.co.uk/you-your-family/services/family-law/divorce-christmas

The information contained in this update does not constitute legal advice. It’s our best assessment of the current position and is in places based on opinion. In order to bring you a comprehensive guide we have included some financial information, but this does not constitute financial advice. If you want specific advice, please contact us.

# 5 tips for surviving separation this festive season