Settling Your Child Into Nursery Top Tips And Advice

 By York Montessori & Moortown Nursery Owner Helen Gration

Having chosen the right early years nursery school which is a calm, safe, welcoming and loving childcare provider, you make plans for your child’s first day and first time in nursery! So how can you help in settling your child into nursery?

Settling your child into nursery

In the weeks and even months before starting nursery, start to prepare your child: you can use the word ‘nursery’ and talk about the people there once you know their names. Point out your chosen setting when you walk or drive by it. Read story books about the very same subject. Get them prepared for a new experience and new routine in a new environment.  Below are some helpful tips and advice to help with a great start to the smooth transition for young children into new surroundings in all childcare settings.

Settling your child into nursery my Top Tips!

• Parents will want a number of ‘settling-in’ sessions for you and your precious one, a term often used by nurseries to describe the period it takes for you and your child to become comfortable with the room and setting in the best way for helping settling your child into nursery .
• An average set of settling-ins will be about 3. However, there have been fewer, and there have been more! Ensure your nursery is flexible and understanding; the situation that suits your child is always a good idea.
• Settling-in 1 will be a visit (perhaps one, perhaps two) where you stayed for the first time in a session with your child. You will have been shown the forms that need to be completed so that the nursery has plenty of information to help settle in your child. You will have been met by the Room Supervisor/Leader of the nursery room your child will enter and, hopefully, your child’s key worker.
• The remaining sessions will be visits where you stay for a while and leave your child briefly. This allows some time for your child to play with the other children and staff under the care of the Room Supervisor/Leader or their key worker. You don’t have to go far – perhaps to the foyer area, or car park, or further afield.
• You will build to a visit where you leave your child in the care of their key person and room nursery staff for a longer period, and that should include a meal.
• This gradual, stepped process will have shown your child a positive experience of full days with the nursery team – play (indoors and out) and mealtimes, maybe even some children happily going to sleep. Before starting, it will give your child important memories of various events in this new nursery environment.
• Some nurseries offer a visit in your own home, where the staff come to your house and visit your child there. This way, a connection is made outside of nursery settings, which might be important. Again, it lays memories and associations of someone there ‘over here’, looking at favourite toys and favourite teddy, books, comforters, where they eat, etc. A home visit may not be for everyone, but don’t be afraid to ask if you feel it is an important thing for you to do.
• Good nurseries will have other ways of helping you and your child settle in – some personal nick-nacks which belong to your ‘key person’ (the staff member who will be your main contact for your child’s time at nursery), to talk about and help build a relationship.
• Could there be recipes from the cook so you can reproduce some of the dishes at home?
• There definitely should be parents’ events beyond Parent Evenings where your child’s development is discussed – other ‘fun’ times where parents are invited in to play at nursery is a great way to build positive relationships. This way, the nursery is not just a place for your child where you cannot be included. That is incredibly important. So ask if it’s part of their policy.
• Leave a voice recording as you read a story or nursery rhyme. Take in photos of your child at home and with other members of the family, which can be displayed around the room for your child to look at.
• If your child uses a comforter, take it! They are a ‘comfort’ whether it is always available or for a snuggle at sleep time.
• Does your child use a potty or potty training – would it be useful to have your type of potty at hand if the nursery one is different? Take yours in if needs be – but be aware that staff may find it difficult to ensure that others don’t take a seat!
• Is different washing powder going to be a problem for your child’s sensitive skin? Ask what brand is used and take in your bed linen if needed. Most nurseries will use a ‘non-bio’ brand nowadays.

Child’s First Day

Keep Calm, Even if you Fake it!

• Be confident, cheery and encouraging: at the end of the day, you have chosen this place for the best reasons, having researched the choices. You need help in order to return to work, and this place has come up with top marks for you. You may have friends who have used the nursery and recommended it. You have trusted your maternal and natural instincts and felt a bond with how the nursery is run. So, this place will help you and your child build a good relationship – new experiences, new people, new things in a nursery setting, new foods, new friends. What a great preparation for settling your child into nursery life and at school and beyond.
• As you and your child settle and thrive, old nerves are lost; remember to keep the nursery informed of any big change which might unsettle your child again. Changes such as within the family, maybe a new sibling, or moving home, or even moving to the ‘big bed’ things which alter your child’s routines. Perhaps you’re changing nursery, or something sadder has happened, such as a family member’s or pet’s death. Good nurseries will help with the re-settling for all of that and can be really useful.
• You’re there; bags are on the peg, and your child has arrived in the room. Put aside your nerves and calmly say your bye-bye. You are well on your way to settling your child into nursery. Don’t even give a backward glance. It’s often useful for a child if these aren’t long, even if there are tears, as staying longer can be a confusing message for them and disturb the settling process. Give a time frame that can be understood, such as “I’ll be here after your lunch. Go and find the train you like.” The staff will help your child settle after you’ve left and be truthful about what has happened during the day. Remember, your child is getting used to different people and a new place and will take a little time to be convinced that all is well and that he or she is safe. Don’t underestimate the time of separation. It’s a big step for the whole family and can be an anxious time for new parents, but in a couple of weeks, you will feel more confident and know you will pick up a happy child at the end of each day.
• We all know the ‘guilt burden’, but if you’re returning to work, you’ll need some help settling your small children into nursery and not all of us have family nearby to step in. We know some parents are easy with the process, whilst, for others, it can be unsettling and a period of anxiety. But the staff should be able to reassure you with, for example, an emailed photo of your child enjoying time during the day. As natural as it is to be anxious about being away from your child, your child can feel this anxiety and suddenly present them with a new emotion that is unsettling for them. So let the nursery give you the help you deserve, and keep calm, even if you fake it to help you settling your child into nursery.

Find out what Helen Gration says about why children need nursery rhymes. Maybe you’re worried about breastfeeding when returning to work. Read everything you need to know here.

# settling your child into nursery