“Strengthening human connection through the power of conversation”.
Five ways to become better at conversations
By Emily Cosgrove
As human beings, we are hardwired for connection but for many of us, we can find this human connection missing at work. It’s the informal conversations that are often being squeezed out of our working days right now. Those small moments of spontaneous connection that happen when we are in a room together, walking past a colleague’s desk, or grabbing a coffee. When we find out about each other’s lives outside of work; celebrating family news together, learning that we’re heading off to the same holiday destination, or that someone might be struggling.
These may feel small and insignificant, yet it is precisely these tiny details, coupled with conversations which provide space for better quality thinking, that help us feel more engaged at work.
The same is true for conversations with our clients and customers. When we forget to connect as people as well as professionals, and really listen, we can miss the chance to grow our relationships and ultimately our opportunity to provide them with greater value.
This may seem obvious, but what became clear through our research was that even when this kind of human interaction is happening at work, we crave more of it. At a fundamental level we want better work relationships with more honesty and clarity – ultimately, we want more connection with each other.
This challenge is especially highlighted when working virtually. How often are our days filled with back to back meetings, conversation after conversation, yet hardly any time to share the human side of life before the next Teams or Zoom call?
The future of work is going to continue to be hybrid for those of us whose jobs can accommodate it – blending remote work with days in the workplace. This flexibility serves us well and is what most of us want. However, if we want to enjoy fulfilling and meaningful work experiences, we need to understand how to become better at connecting with each other through our conversations. Whether small moments or deeper conversations, it is here that we find much of the joy of our everyday work lives.
Here are five things we can all do to use our conversations to better connect and build ways to become better at conversations
- Ask questions and use your listening skills. It sounds so simple but just asking an open question and then listening without interrupting is rarer than you would believe. We interrupt so quickly, it’s breath-taking. Just listening for a moment longer helps to build connection.
- Create opportunities for short conversations. A quick virtual cuppa or a walk and talk to check in on how a colleague is doing. This could be on the phone or, if you’re in the office, make the effort to walk together at lunch or between meetings. Build in moments of connection across the week.
- Stay curious. We all have very different experiences of work, and we have different perspectives on what those mean. Try and stay open to and curious about these differences. It’s all too easy to get defensive or close something down if we disagree, and that is a conversation killer for sure.
- Think about the environment. Where we talk makes a huge difference to the quality of our conversation. Could you suggest an alternative location for your regular weekly meeting just to see what happens? Where can you be that will help boost your enjoyment of the conversation?
- Don’t forget the fun. Adding a sense of playfulness and joy helps us feel connected. Take a risk and see how you might use humour to lighten or shake up your work conversations.
Now is the time to change the way we work and bring more humanity and empathy into our organisations. Now is the time to change the way we talk to each other and build our ways to become better at conversations.
Emily Cosgrove is the Co-Author of Conversational Wisdom (out 19 June) and co-founder of The Conversation Space.
# Ways to become better at conversations