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About the Author
Written by Abbie Coleman, founder of MMB Magazine. With over 15 years of recruitment experience, 10 years running her own consultancy, and over a decade supporting working mums, Abbie is a passionate voice for practical, supportive parenting. She is also a full-time mum to Kimi and Eliza, who thrive in a Montessori-inspired home.
Montessori Parenting Style: How It’s Working for Our Family (and Might for Yours Too)
Let’s be honest. Most different parenting styles and techniques sound good until you actually try to apply them in everyday life, like on a school run with a toddler who insists on dressing themselves in glitter wellies and a tutu. I’ve been there—and still am—most days. But the Montessori parenting style worked for us.
However, something shifted for me when we stumbled into the Montessori approach. Not through a book or a course — but through real life. Watching my son Kimi thrive at Helen Gration’s Yorkshire Montessori Nursery in Leeds gave me a window into a different kind of parenting, Montessori-style parenting. One that respects children as individuals, supports their emotional and cognitive developmental needs, and encourages independence and social skill from a young age.
Now, with my daughter Eliza, age four, I’ve brought those Montessori principles home as we don’t have Montessori schools or nurseries nearby—and while we’re far from perfect, the difference in our daily lives is something I want more parents to experience.
What Is Montessori Parenting, Really?
The Montessori parenting style is rooted in the work of Dr. Maria Montessori, an Italian physician and educator from the early 1900s. After observing children closely, she developed what’s now known as the Montessori method — a supportive environment, a child-led educational philosophy that encourages hands-on learning, practical life skills, and freedom of choice in a prepared environment for child development.
In a Montessori education setting classroom, children make their own choices, choose their activities, work independently or in small groups, and engage with beautifully designed Montessori materials—often made from natural materials.
Our role is not to instruct but to guide, and this just sits with me as a child’s inquisitiveness is so important. Rather than being asked to do what the majority are doing, children are allowed their own choices, which is key to a child’s natural curiosity. So often, Kimi was encouraged to go and play what the others were playing rather than being allowed to explore and play in his own time.
And here’s the part that really matters for us as parents: those same principles apply beautifully to your child’s independence at home.
What Makes Montessori Different from Traditional Education?
Traditional education tends to rely on adult-led instruction, grades, and one-size-fits-all expectations. Children are usually passive receivers of information.
In contrast, Montessori education treats kids as active participants. It encourages intrinsic motivation, lets them follow their own interests, and respects sensitive periods — those windows of time when children are most open to learning specific skills like language, order, movement, or social behaviour.
Montessori is often described as a holistic approach to child development. It focuses on the whole child — intellectually, socially, emotionally, and physically — not just academics.
How We Brought Montessori into Our Home
Our Montessori journey started with Kimi. He was just three when he joined Helen Gration’s nursery. Even now, at 11, the skills and confidence he built there continue to shine. He helps his younger sister, Eliza, without being asked. He remembers to pack his school bag. He has a real sense of responsibility.
With Eliza, we’ve built on that by adapting our home environment. Here’s what that looks like in real life:
- Low shelves with toys and books she can access on her own.
- A floor bed so she can get in and out herself
- A step stool in the kitchen so she can help with food prep
- She has a small wardrobe with limited outfit options she can choose from
- Space to make mess, problem-solve, and learn at her own pace
- Self Care Station from handwashing to teeth brushing.
We also introduced a Montessori-style self-care station in the bathroom — with a mirror, hairbrush, and tissues she can reach. This isn’t just about convenience. It’s about supporting her independence in a safe, prepared environment that encourages growth without constant adult intervention.
(If you want to try this yourself, take a look at our guide: Create Your Own Montessori Playroom: 15 Top Tips)
Practical Life Skills: The Heart of the Montessori Way
One of the most useful things I’ve learned from Montessori parenting is the focus on practical skills. Eliza helps set the table, wipes up spills, and folds her own clothes (badly, but it’s a start).
Instead of “playing house”, she’s doing real tasks — and loving it. Kimi, at 11, now makes his own breakfast and will even help pack lunchboxes when we’re in a rush. These aren’t chores. They’re part of the rhythm of our home, and the kids are proud to contribute.
Want to try it yourself? Here’s a helpful read: How to Create a Montessori Functional Kitchen for Your Child
The Role of the Parent in Montessori
In Montessori, the parent isn’t the authority figure constantly instructing. You’re a guide, creating opportunities and clear boundaries while stepping back enough to let your child explore.
This part’s hard, especially when you’re tired and late for school. But saying “You can do it” instead of “Let me” builds confidence in a way no sticker chart ever could.
It also reduces conflict over time. We’re not hovering, micromanaging, or nagging. We’re giving space, support, and consistent expectations with this montessori parenting style.
Why We Choose Montessori Toys and Play
When people think “Montessori,” they often picture minimalist wooden toys. And while the aesthetic isn’t the point, there is value in open-ended, child-led play.
We try to choose toys that encourage problem-solving and imagination—puzzles, blocks, tools for pouring or scooping. Eliza’s favourites right now are a balance beam, a set of measuring cups, and a small broom she uses constantly.
We’ve pulled together some of our go-to items: The Best Montessori Toys Guide for Your Child.
FAQ: Montessori Parenting, Answered
Q: Do I need to buy lots of special Montessori materials?
No. Focus on natural materials, valuable tools, and things your child can use to build new skills. Everyday objects work brilliantly.
Q: Can I mix Montessori with other parenting styles?
Absolutely. We do! Montessori is flexible — it blends beautifully with gentle parenting and routines that fit your family dynamics.
Q: What if my child struggles with independence?
Start small. Offer choices, build daily routines, and celebrate progress. Even a little freedom helps build intrinsic motivation.
Q: Is it too late to start at age four?
Not at all. Eliza started at four. Montessori works for children’s needs at many stages. It’s never too late to adapt your approach.
Conclusion: Why A Montessori Parenting Style Works For Us
For us, Montessori is more than a method — a way of life. It’s in how we speak to the kids, set up their space, and view their place in the family.
It helps us raise capable, confident, curious, and kind children. It’s not always easy, and it definitely takes patience. But seeing Eliza take pride in pouring her own drink or watching Kimi help pack his sister’s bag without being asked—those are the moments that remind me that this is the best way for our family.
Want to Try A Montessori Parenting Style?
Start with something small. Give your child more time to complete tasks. Let them help with dinner. Could you set up a space they can call their own? You don’t need to overhaul everything overnight — make a few minor changes and observe the positive outcomes unfold.
To dive deeper into Montessori at home, check out:
- The Future Montessori Generation To Be Inspired
Explores the foundational principles of Montessori education and its emphasis on independence and child-centered learning. - What Is Montessori Play? A Real Mum’s Guide
Provides insights into Montessori play and how it fosters purposeful, child-led learning. - My Top 10 Ultimate Montessori Parenting Books
A curated list of essential reads for parents interested in Montessori principles. - Mastering Montessori With The Montessori Compass
Discusses a tool to help parents stay connected with their child’s Montessori education journey. - Montessori Piano An Effective Approach To Teaching
Explores how Montessori principles can be applied to music education. - A Montessori Roundup For Mums
A collection of articles and resources for mothers interested in Montessori parenting. - What Do Montessori Schools Cost In The UK
Provides an overview of the financial aspects of Montessori education in the UK. - Working Mums Guide To Parenting By Age
Offers age-specific parenting advice, including insights relevant to Montessori practice
#Montessori Parenting Style